Wednesday, June 18, 2008

REALLY low standards

So here lately I have been getting hit on a lot at work. I would say I have gotten hit on more in the last three weeks than I have in my entire life. While it is flattering, it really makes me think, do these guys have really low standards or what?

Seriously! Let me tell you about my typical appearance. 95% of the time when I go to work I have absolutely no makeup on. Not any foundation or even anything as simple as chapstick. Nothing. My hair is brushed but not really styled at all. And while I wear nice clothes they are very practical since my job can entail cooking, heavy lifting, and excessive sweating at any point of the day. And ususally at some point I get some kind of stain on them. Plus, I wear fuggly slip resistant man shoes and there is nothing sexy about that.

So obviously, I am not the picture of beauty on a typical work day. And while I have a fucking fabulous personality it definately isn't apparent until you get to know me, right?

So why in the world do I have all these delivery guys hitting on me??? Low standards? Perhaps. Sales techniques? Doubtful, since most of them don't work on commission. Pure horniness? Probably.

But how do I go on? The behavior of these men is really starting to cut into my work day. For instance, if this one delivery guy keeps stopping between loads to tell me about his life I may flip. Not only is he interuppting me, but he is also taking 5 times to long to make a simple delievery.

The riducule of my fellow employees is also starting to take its toll. In a business meeting (side note: I was the only woman) some fellow managers were talking about a linen company we use and what was availiable. Someone commented, "I don't like company X". I replied, "I don't either" Then Boss #1 jokingly said, "Teresa doesn't like company X because of our delivery guy." Without even thinking I said, "Um, yeah, well if that guy looks at my boobs one more time I am going to have to hit him."

So, as you can see this is getting so bad I may have to resort to violence and I haven't had a real big throwdown in awhile. Although I think I could take most of the guys, I used to play hockey.

Any advice on how to go back to a normal work day without getting violent is appreciated.


Amanda, Mandy, Manda, Tomato said...

In my studies of Horniness Maximus I have concluded that violence is the only solution. Sorry.

mxq said...

i agree with Amanda! Also, i think that you continuing to call them out (instead of pretending not to notice) will curb their obnoxious behavior. maybe...

Kristal said...

You are just too damn sexy Teresa!!

Jamie said...

Do you know what I love best about your blog? That when I read it, I can actually HEAR you saying it. I love that!!!! But girl, you are so hot, you're bound to have issues your whole life.

Rhonda said...

Theresa-- I love you have narsty delivery guys hitting on you. The bad breath, stoned delivery guy at my work hits on me too. Makes ya feel special, huh?
Good luck with all your man problems, your hottiness.

Scazar said...

I find it hard to believe Teresa that you are super sexy at all hours of the day regardless of make-up and clothing ; p

Us sexy folks just have a curse on us. Sometimes it is a pain in the ass.

Just tell your co-workers that they are merely angry because the dude is hitting on you rather than them. I will provide an example.

Male Coworker: "Teresa doesn't like company X because of our delivery guy."

Teresa: "look cocksmoke, shut your trap. You are simply unhappy that the delivery guy is interested in me rather than your queer ass"

Now for a version dealing with female coworkers.

Female Coworker: "Teresa doesn't like company X because of our delivery guy."

Teresa: "Shut your cockholster slutbag. You are just mad because he wants my sexy body instead of your skeezy std ridden ass"

You need to come spend a day at work with me in the factory. We'll teach you how to deal with stupid co-workers ;p

On a slightly (only less slightly)less profanity filled front, I've started a blog on here thanks to you. I demand you read and comment.