I expected to write this post later in the week, but what the heck, no time like the present. I apologize as I know it is going to be a little all over the place, but that is kind of how my mind is working right now.
If you couldn't tell from my last post, I am pretty burnt out on running. In all honesty, I have been for the last few weeks and it's finally hitting me super hard. Not much of me is excited for this Marathon on Sunday and that really upsets me. I really want my running joy back. Even getting personal bests on my short routes doesn't excite me, and that used to make my day (or week).
In order to get in a better head space I have been trying to remind myself of why I decided to do the Marathon in the first place. More than anything I wanted to do the Marathon because I thought if I could do it, then I could do anything. After running a Marathon it seemed like nothing would be impossible for me.
This Marathon isn't impossible. Just because the last few weeks haven't been great doesn't mean that I can't do it. I just need to keep reminding myself of that and beat it into my brain. I need to think over and over that 15 months ago that running 3 minutes seemed impossible and that I kept going. I need to think about those completely humbling times that someone told me I was an inspiration to them.
The last week has been a roller coaster of emotion. I have completely flipped out and considered unofficially dropping down to the half Marathon because of the last few weeks. But if I do that, I know I would never forgive myself for not at least trying. For my sanity, I need to give everything I have on Sunday, and if for some reason it isn't good enough, I just need to know that I gave everything I could and I can move on with no regrets. In fact, I think No Regrets is the new motto for my Marathon. I may write it on my arm or pin something on the back of my shirt that says, "Please cheer at me and say, No Regrets!" so that random Marathon watchers can remind me of my pledge.
Thank you to all of you for sticking around during this crazy time in my life. Those of you that have taken the time out to say something encouraging have meant the world to me. I certainly I hope I make you proud and cross the finish line fist pumping and having ran with No Regrets.